I WANT!

Bridezilla-esque request #1:
I want 12 dogs with heart-shaped markings to mingle with the guests during cocktail hour. We can start with these two from Japan. I'll paint the other 10 if need be.

Slimfast Can Bite Me

July has been a long stressful month for me. I've been working crazy long hours at work and have had to attend a number of cocktail parties, so needless to say my diet and exercise routine has been less than stellar. Add to that my Starbucks habit that tends to spiral out of control during times of stress and things only got worse. Not only are the calories unneeded, the espresso makes me crazy. During one caffeine induced bout of anxiety I texted my mom, "I'm worried I won't be able to fit into my dress."

In hindsight, I know I was being crazy. The wedding is still 9 months away and my dress won't even be fitted until 6 months from now. And once I got back to the gym I stepped on the scale and I've gained 3, maybe 4 lbs. As my friend Zipporah said, "that's just water weight, don't worry." Or as Big Dave more elegantly put it, "I take bigger shits than that, you'll be fine." Point being, I'll get back on track with my regular routine and I'll be back to my good ole self in a couple of weeks. The dress will fit. Everything will be fine. And even if I keep the "weight" on I'm sure I would look great.

Which is why wedding propaganda like this Slimfast ad from 2001 is so infuriating. Thanks, Slimfast, for trying to make me feel bad about myself. Thanks for feeding into the crazy.