Sunday, January 18, 2009

Traditionally Nontraditional

BIG DAVE (aka my dad): "Well, you don't want a dress..."

DENISE: "Yes, Dad, I do. I'm not wearing a bathrobe down the aisle."

That's the problem I'm already running into with this whole wedding business. Expectations that I'm going to be a total wack-a-do.

Granted, years ago as a budding feminist, I had stronger "views" about marriage/weddings/getting engaged. I used to be dead set against engagement rings. I mean, it's the same as having a man put a big 'ole bought and paid for sign on you, right? Well, I loosened up on that view when I realized I'd be missing out on a really nice piece of jewelry. Some of my other views about wedding traditions have loosened as well-- I definitely think my family will be surprised by many of my choices:

For many reasons, I was still against a diamond engagement ring. My compromise instead was to 1) choose a sapphire as the center stone, the traditionally nontraditional way to go nowadays, and 2) give Mark an engagement gift in exchange. I got a ring and he got two tickets to Amsterdam-- now we're equally in debt!

The color will be....WHITE! I bet that surprised a few of you. But any objections to a white gown are completely overshadowed by the fact that I DO NOT want to look like I'm going to my prom. I've never seen a non-white dress that's worked at a wedding, so my fashion senses tell me to stick with tradition.

Wow, this one was a toughy. While I hate the idea of being "given away" (hellooo, I'm not a piece of property) at heart I'm a daddy's girl. Why hurt my father's feelings because I'm afraid people will read too much into my walk down the aisle? Plus, it was such a touching moment when my father walked my sister down the aisle that I can't imagine passing this up.

I have to admit, this is still up for discussion. I like my last name- I've become quite fond of it over the past 28 years! Of all the traditionally nontraditional possibilities- hyphenating, legally going by Hing but still publicly going by Gibson, having Mark change his name (!)- I think I still may go with the ultimate traditional-nontradition: not changing a damn thing. We'll see...

1 comment:

  1. On the topic of last names, may I recommend the underutilized hybrid or "bastardized" surname? Hingson? Or Gibsing, perhaps? Or, my personal favorite: G'bing? (pronounced like a game show sound effect, low "g," loud, high, and drawn-out "bing.")

    Congratulations on your engagement. And condolences on your first comment.